Why Women Have Affairs With Married Men

Excitement, covetousness, risk, poor impulse control, lack of boundaries, triggers, dizzying attraction are just a few examples of the wide range of rationales, reasons and excuses people give for entering an affair.

The justifications brush the surface but let’s take a deeper dive as to why women might step onto this tilt-a-whirl ride and engage in this high stakes emotional brinkmanship.

why women have affairs with married men

At least once a week a client will ask me why women date married men.

Some women pursue married men because they want what someone else has already. They not only desire your husband. They yearn for your life. They think your lifestyle is better than theirs. I’ve spoken with women who fantasize about living in another women’s house and raising another women’s kids. They spend little time considering alimony, child support, and the scorn and judgment that often comes with the inevitable disclosure.

Fear of commitment

Though they may not be aware, women who enter relationships with married men only want dessert. They know that dating a married man does not include raising his kids and doing his laundry. They don’t want the main course, let alone having to cook it, as well.

Sadly, for them, though, it also does not include weekends and holidays. Affairs feel lonely on Thanksgiving.

The challenge and adventure of a married man

Lastly, some women relish the hunt. They earn a bigger trophy if they bag your man rather than catch their own single and available guy. Truly, there are women out there who find it far more victorious to get a man to leave his wife and family for her. It boosts their egos to know they are worthy of such sacrifice.

Because they can

Women who pursue a relationship with a married man often exhibit a similar pathology. They are alluring, attractive, competitive, charming, narcissistic or all the above and have an innate or cultivated ability to win men over and enjoy using that power. It also elevates them and boosts their self-esteem – for a time.

Lisa Ryan LPC

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