Get Unstuck and Stop Fearing Rejection

It can happen sometimes without you even realizing it. It can happen in an instant. You drift haplessly into a particular current and are swept out beyond the boundary waters, in the churn, where life gets complicated and unsettling.

Maybe it’s at this point that you get hit with bad news or a series of disappointments.  

You may get stuck or may feel paralyzed.

You may even feel hopeless.

Setbacks, disappointments, betrayals and rejection are painful, but you will not escape them. No one escapes them.

This is the time you must take a deep breath, remember who you are and hold the line.

Here are some ideas for those challenging moments.

Remember that in striving for anything important, failure and rejection are normal

It’s one of those pesky universal truths. If it’s a place worth going, it’s going to most likely mean a long, hard slog to get there.

You will at times face hardship, adversity and self-doubt.

As Randy Pausch wrote in his book, The Last Lecture, “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”

Write down what you learn in challenging moments

Use the tough times as learning moments.

This is the road map for self-improvement. Keeping notes will help you remember valuable lessons you learned along the way.

Recognize that the days, months and years of struggle are often what make the reward that much sweeter.

Remember that you’re learning not only for yourself, but for any you might one day provide with insight, inspiration or good counsel.

Those who endure usually win

Having a deep belief in yourself and an ability to endure will always increase your odds for success in any venture.

Confidence and conviction are contagious and can often seem to absolutely “will” things into being.

It’s no coincidence such sentiments are shared and repeated many times, in many ways, by people who have achieved their goals and dreams.

Walt Disney used to say “Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it’s done right.”

He was right. It worked for him and it will work for you.

Every success is built on a mountain of failures

Most self-made successful people can draw upon a very deep well of setbacks and challenges when discussing their determined path to success.

They’ve left piles of disappointment, frustration, and failures in their wake, but that’s the point. They leave it behind or piled around them and continue to move forward.

You can do this too. Simply set your shoulders, look forward and understand that these piles are eventually what can be used as important blocks or steppingstones to mount most walls.

Final thoughts

Your mindset is every bit as important as everyone keeps telling you.

Put another way, your perception of all you experience, as well as how you act or react toward important people and pivotal moments in your life, will shape and determine your life’s trajectory.

Every setback is a chance to refocus your resolve and test your patience.

The writer and philosopher, Sam Keen, wrote, “There are two questions a man must ask himself: The first is ‘Where am I going?’ and the second is ‘Who is going with me?’ If you ever get these in the wrong order you are in trouble.”

Remember that quote if you one day find yourself adrift.

Lisa Ryan LPC

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