Be Your Own Best Friend

There’s only one person in this world that you have total control over.

Others may disappoint you, and not be there for you when things get really hard, but there’s always that one person who has the capacity to never let you down. And that person, of course, is you. 

So what is a best friend? A best friend is a person who shows up for you, with quality, caring, and consistently. Start showing up for yourself. Better yet, start showing up for the person you’ll be tomorrow.

be your own best friend
I am building a huge bundle for the Counseling for Busy People website, with over 90 different things you can do to be your own best friend, and it will likely get bigger, but I thought I would share a few thoughts with you here today. I’m not going to overwhelm you with the entire BeSmarter bundle from the membership site, but if you’re interested in learning, in depth, how to be your own best friend every day, get on the waiting list. First, I want to talk about what it feels like when you’re the person letting yourself down. Number one feeling? Ugh, the guilt. Guilt is the worst. I think it’s even stronger than that nagging feeling of self-disappointment. And if you don’t figure out what’s going on, and DO something about it, you could eventually end up feeling even heavier baggage like despair or even hopelessness. So pick yourself up, before you get there, and make some decisions that are in your best interest right now.

So how do you not show up for yourself?

Procrastination… Many people let themselves down by postponing difficult, boring, or overwhelming stuff. There’s lots of reasons people procrastinate. Personally, I think people expect too much from themselves in any given day so they feel like they’ve let themselves down if they haven’t completed a to-do list that was ridiculously undoable in the first place. 

So start making daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly to-do lists, and goals, that are attainable. Cut yourself some slack, will you? 

Here’s a few tricks to postpone procrastination

Do the most hard or most boring thing first. 

If you’re overwhelmed by a task, make sure you do it in bite-size pieces so it doesn’t crush or discourage you.

Should you find that you are just unable to complete a task that you promised yourself you would do, then do half of it and take yourself off the hook. Or do it for 30 minutes, and let that be enough. With no guilt. Often times when you make the decision that you’re only going to do something for 30 minutes, like maybe half a work out, for example, you’ll end up getting on a roll and completing what you originally assigned yourself anyway.

Set up a small reward system for yourself. 

It can be really small. I, for example, hate bringing out the trash. So I will disallow myself a fresh cup of coffee until after I have thrown my stuff in the outside bin. 

Another motivator that really works is to remember the feeling of accomplishment, that always feel so great. Also, the achievement of getting something behind you instead of leaving it in front of you starts to add up. You’ll get more done.

Renegotiating with yourself

The second most common way you may not be being your own best friend is by welching on a decision you previously made to yourself. Every decision you make should have a deadline or a timeline on it so you can put more in your done column. If it’s worth making the decision to get something done in the first place, stop renegotiating with yourself after the fact. The only one you are damaging is yourself.

I hope this inspired you to stop sabotaging yourself and to start showing up for yourself instead. Be a better friend to yourself. You’ll be glad you did, today, tomorrow, and maybe even years from now.

I would love to hear from you about the things you do to help you complete everything important to you. Drop me a line right now at lisa@counselingforbusypeople.com, while I take out the trash! Login as a guest and leave a comment!

Thanks, and take good care.

Lisa Ryan

Relationship Expert – Infidelity Specialist – Personal Development Coach

Loves the big blue sea, homely dogs, the unvarnished truth, and making people feel better.

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