How Working Couples Stay in Love
If you’re a working wife and/or mother, you’ve probably thought to yourself, at least once or twice (a week), that you could really use your very own stay-at-home wife. I know I have! TIME is what we all want more of!
We spend our lives doing what’s critical instead of what’s important. We put out fires instead of figuring out what caused the blaze in the first place. Our relationships get the leftovers of our 7-course lives. Strong relationships don’t just need work. What they really need is time. Schedule it! I swear! It’s the only way!
A couple with children has even less time for each other. So what happens when juggling home, family, children, relationship, job, and social lives leaves a couple depleted? Don’t postpone time together. Make sure it tops your priority list. How we spend our time is a dead giveaway to what we think is most important. So choose each other, and put a double-feature on for the kids!
5 Essentials For All Dual Income Families
Your Marriage Is Not a Competition
When both of you work, it’s easy to turn into a bean counter. Be honest. Don’t you have a small tally sheet embedded in your head somewhere? If you want to build resentment quickly for each other, just decide who earns more and use that as a reason to goof off more.
OR… You could stay together and separate tasks with balance and thoughtfulness. Build solutions and scheduled tasks together. If you always divide and conquer, you’ll conquer nothing and be left divided. Get less done, but do it together. Tackle the challenges as a team, and you may be surprised how much more you can accomplish!
Set Boundaries Between Home and Work
How do you deal with the challenges of trying to be a full-time employee and a full-time parent? I know what I do. I opted for the B-Plus option years ago! I lowered my bar. Incidentally, I also get a lot more done. “Perfect is the enemy of the good!” And draw that line!
Setting limits will help you find a balance between your commitment to work and your commitment to your family. As much as possible, leave your work “at the office.” If you work from home, set time schedules for when you are working and when you are with your family. The temptation to multi-task is overwhelming. Put down your phone anyway! Spending great time with your spouse and children means you aren’t texting, emailing, and taking phone calls every five minutes. And neither are they! New Rule!!
Stay Flexible in the Way You Spend Time
Sometimes your family will need more of your attention and time. Sometimes, you will have busier times at work that demand you spend more time working. The key for working parents in a dual-income family is to come up for air regularly. Reassess your priorities. And remember, your spouse can’t always pick up your slack at home, and he can’t make up for your absence. Corny but true – spend your time like you only have one year left to be here. And lighten up! Let stuff go and spend more time together doing nothing!
Find a Better Balance
Do what you can the night before: clean the kitchen, prep the kids’ lunches, plan breakfast. Lay out your clothes, as well as the kids’, before you go to bed. Cook in bulk over the weekend to reduce weeknight stress. Soups and sauces can be frozen in all sizes of containers! And buy a crock pot – and use it!
Set as many bills on auto-pay as possible; automate whatever routine tasks you can. Make a family calendar. Work together to accomplish household chores. Put your kids to work. They’re part of the family! They’re not helpless!
Give Up on Perfection
Stop comparing yourself to other people. We’re all pretending it’s easy for us, and we’re all lying! Stop worrying about being good enough! So the clothes don’t get put away, or the beds aren’t perfectly made every day. Maybe you can’t make a home-cooked meal every night. It’s okay to find shortcuts. That’s why you’re working! Order a pizza once a week, or make scrambled eggs for dinner.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help, either! If you’re worried that your neighbors or friends will think less of you for reaching out, you could not be more wrong. They’ll only be relieved that they’re not the only ones feeling like overwhelmed. Chances are they have been in the same place a few times themselves.
Leave a comment below and let me know what you thought about this post!
Lisa Ryan
Relationship Expert – Infidelity Specialist – Personal Development Coach
Loves the big blue sea, homely dogs, the unvarnished truth, and making people feel better.
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