Do You Have the 9 Traits of a Tough-Minded Woman?
Today I’d like to tackle the subject of being a mentally tough-minded woman. Which I think is a GOOD thing!
SO many of you wrote to me, in response to a video I did on softness. So I wanted to take some time to answer a few of your questions.
The qualities of softness and grit, I think, are not inconsistent. You can be tough-minded, and you can simultaneously be soft. I think being tough minded, as well as soft, are BOTH great traits in a woman.
What qualities do tough-minded women have?
They’re people whose word is their bond. Tough-minded women are reliable.
They are women who are comfortable saying NO, because they are also people who don’t necessarily go with the crowd, or are even LIKED by the crowd.
Tough-minded women adhere to their own core principles.
Lots of famous women are both gritty and soft. Eleanor Roosevelt. Oprah! I bet she’s made a few unpopular decisions throughout the span of HER career! Madonna is a very tough-minded business person. Doesn’t mean she’s not also open-hearted. Not at all.
You don’t have to be a doormat to still be soft.
Tough-minded women push themselves outside their comfort zone. They DARE. They have the ability to assess measured-risk, and they kick fear to the curb! I think it’s because they’re comfortable with failing. They seem to intuitively understand that what they learn by getting something wrong, has value.
They don’t expect perfection.
Mentally tough-minded and determined women are those who stay positive when things get hard. They find opportunities when others see defeat. I know SO many strong women! They are gritty, resolute, and they always keep their eye on their goals.
They break the mold with courage, boldness and decisiveness.
That doesn’t mean they don’t get scared. They absolutely DO! But their emotional intelligence seems to provide them with the bravery they need to work through difficult situations. They stay in the game.
Tough-minded women expect MORE from themselves. And they usually don’t self-disappoint. They are closers! I think that’s where they get their confidence.
They are learners. They know that things in life change constantly. And they welcome it. In fact, they’re often even ready for it! Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Patty Heart, Martha Stewart, Meryl Streep. All mentally tough-minded, yet loving and giving at the same time. I’d want all of them in my foxhole!
Mentally tough-minded people are able to adapt. Sure, they have a plan, and even a back-up plan. But they are resilient when their plans get tossed out the window. They are very good at winging it! One of my favorite qualities about them is that they apologize when they get it wrong. Great quality!
They are independent. Their softness and trust surfaces at the end of the day with their families. Actually, their autonomy and power is often motivated by those they love, who also supports and understands them, if they’re lucky!
They know when it’s time to pull the plug. Because they accept the concept and possibility of failure, as easily as they do success, they’re not likely to spend their time bailing out a sinking ship. They adapt, accept reality, and change their plan.
If you’d like to become more mentally strong and self-determined, here’s just a few things you can do
1. Stay calm. If you lose control, you let others know which buttons to push in the future. Keep your cards close.
2. Be MORE concerned with whether you’ve lived up to your OWN expectations of yourself, and not those of others. Tough-minded women usually have a pretty high bar. If you meet your own bar, you’ve probably met everyone else’s expectations of you.
3. Don’t let other people hurt your feelings. They’re entitled to their opinion of you. But just don’t take it as fact. Use your own compass. Listen to valuable feedback, use it to improve yourself, and toss the rest. Easier said than done. I know.
4. Don’t complain. Instead, be constructive. Everyone needs to let it out – unload, but choose your spouse or best friend to gripe about the people who are most frustrating you.
5. Be strategic. Have a plan. I know one great woman who “reverse engineers” everything! A long-range plan is the best kind of plan. And know that you’ll be tweaking that plan for years! Because things change! You change! So always adapt your plan to fit your goals.
6. Manage your fear. Ask yourself if the problem in front of you will still matter in five years. It usually doesn’t.
I hope this adds value to your day. As always, write to me and let me know what helped you and what didn’t make any sense to you at all! We are ALL a work in progress! Login as a guest and leave a comment!
Lisa Ryan
Relationship Expert – Infidelity Specialist – Personal Development Coach
Loves the big blue sea, homely dogs, the unvarnished truth, and making people feel better.
