How Not To Be Intimidated
Intimidation is another word for bullying. Just as you cannot allow yourself or anyone in your presence to be bullied, it is equally important to how to overcome intimidation. Never allow yourself to feel intimidated by anyone. Ever.
Unfortunately, there are far too many people out there who use intimidation as a means of control. Sometimes intimidation is used as a weapon. It generates fear. It overwhelms. It un-empowers you. (I just made up that word because disempowered is so overused.)
Intimidation is a lot like criticism in that it can only injure or control you if you let it. Try to remember that you are no better and no worse than anyone else. So don’t let yourself be pushed around. And defend anyone else who’s getting purposely crushed.
Volume
Some people intimidate by raising their voice. Try never to raise your voice back with the same volume. Instead, summarize what you heard in your regular tone, and tell that person that you can hear them without their volume. You might even tell them that you will return in 15 minutes when they have collected themselves because you want to hear what they have to say, but not with yelling. It will put them on notice that they’re behaving badly, or that their tactic didn’t work on you.
Threats
If you are ever in a position where someone threatens you, remember that you always have other options. If your boss threatens that you will be replaced, tell them that you would like to know if you should look for a new position, or otherwise just indicate where he or she is disappointed in your work.
If anyone makes physical threats towards you, use your head and do anything you have to, to get out of the situation safely. Try never to get yourself in that position twice; you deserve better. That is why God made 911.
Dominance
Lots of people intimidate through dominance and don’t even know they’re doing it. They will make unilateral decisions when you’re supposed to be in a full partnership. They will tell you they know more about something than you do and cut you out. This does not always apply to husbands by the way. This happens in lots of partnerships, and even in friendships, and relationships with family members.
Insist on your partnership. If someone knows more about a subject than you do, learn more about that subject and ask that person to explain to you what they know until you understand it.
Don’t accept someone’s profession or education as gospel. Recently my blood pressure was substantially elevated. My primary care physician told me that it was probably anxiety from going for a dental implant. I knew better. After seeking counsel from a skilled cardiologist, and doing my own research, I am now properly medicated and accurately diagnosed. The PCP’s degree did not intimidate me in the least.
At the end of the day, I am responsible for my own health. And so are you.
There are so many strategies that people use to intimidate others. Some try to make you feel weak with their strength. Some make you feel stupid with their intelligence.
Others will make you feel comparatively unattractive, undisciplined or poorly equipped. Don’t ever assume that someone is better than you are because they’re indicating that to you with nonverbal messages.
Here is one thing I’ve learned over 18 years of working one on one with people. It is precisely those people who try to minimize you who actually feel inadequate internally. For some, the fastest way to elevate themselves is to shrink the person standing next to them. Make sure that person is never you.
Stand up for yourself. Represent yourself. Learn what you don’t yet know. And trust your gut. Once you have that personal fortitude to never abandon yourself again to the pressures of others, don’t forget to reach out your hand and lift those other people up who have not yet gained your level of confidence and emotional skill.
Lisa Ryan
Relationship Expert – Infidelity Specialist – Personal Development Coach
Loves the big blue sea, homely dogs, the unvarnished truth, and making people feel better.
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