Sex/Life and Your Lost Identity

Last week, six women out of thirty-two appointments wanted to talk about the new Netflix series Sex/Life. It’s not just speaking to them; it’s shouting.

It’s becoming more apparent that women are mourning aspects of the women they used to be and no longer feel they are. Here are some important things to remember to help you reclaim the person who has been eclipsed by responsibilities, commitments and so many other trappings of adulthood.

The girl is there. She’s still there, bright as a star and full of all the hopes and dreams that remain unrelinquished. Hold onto her. She’s a keeper.

And Remember:

1. Hang on to your individualism

It is your lodestar. It will not fail to keep you on course throughout your life and bring you back to the answers within yourself when needed.

2. Never fully give up outside work

Trust me, this is important. Though it may be challenging or impossible for a time if raising a family, finding the time to work, volunteer or map a career based on your interests, will pay dividends down the road.

3. Keep in touch with old friends

Sensible right? But it’s easy to lose touch without making an effort or initiating contact regularly. Old friends keep you in closer touch with the person you were to them and always will be. It’s a perspective you don’t want to overlook or undervalue. 

4. Bring steam back to your bedroom

Nothing will make you feel like your old self again as spicing things up in the bedroom. Being creative, curious and adventurous with a partner who will reciprocate can be like a “hot tub time machine.” – If you don’t know the movie reference, Google it 😉

5. Bathe instead of shower

Take time to pamper yourself and reflect on all the great things you have learned, experienced and received along the way. Yes, gravity is visited upon us all, as are many of life’s other challenges. But your reward is this life and the wisdom you have collected and all the wonderful memories in your mind’s eye imprinted upon your very skin along the way. Let the warm water wash over your skin and remember. 

6. Final Thoughts

There’s a time to be responsible. And there’s a time not to be and to cut loose a little, or a lot. 

I hope you go out and break a few useless rules. 

Pick the girl sometimes. Pick courage and audacity for the sake of others around you and those who will come after you. Try something new, something that transcends approval or disapproval, something just for you. 

If it feels good and it won’t hurt anyone, what are you waiting for?

Live a life with No Regrets. Pick the Girl. And have some really Great Sex. Be the woman the girl would have sidled up alongside and told all her crazy stories to on a hot, sultry, summer night.

Lisa Ryan LPC

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